Naomi Judd is pretty much a national treasure at this point.
Which is why it’s extra hard to have to hear that she went through such dark times — times dark enough that she thought it’d be better to take her own life.
Naomi, mother of Ashley Judd and former Wynonna Judd, was diagnosed with Hepatitis C in 1991 when she was at the peak of her career.
However, in a brand-new interview with People magazine, Judd revealed that it wasn’t the disease that became intolerable for her.
Judd reported that in 2013, she went through the darkest depression of her life — so dark, in fact, that she contemplated suicide.
On heavy-duty medication cocktails, Judd revealed that she was admitted to various psych wards, and had been to therapy myriad times.
Things got so bad that Naomi revealed she began plotting her own demise — jumping from a bridge nearby her Tennessee home.
Judd told People, “Nobody can understand it unless you’ve been there.”
“Think of your very worst day of your whole life — someone passed away, you lost your job, you found out you were being betrayed, that your child had a rare disease,” she trailed off.
“You can take all of those at once and put them together and that’s what depression feels like.”
Judd also revealed that a part of her lapse into a bottomless pit depression was a direct result of sexual abuse by an uncle, and detailed a depression so deep that she wouldn’t leave her home.
“I literally couldn’t leave the house for weeks,” Judd revealed.
“I was completely immobilized and every single second was like a day.”
“It’s so beyond making sense but I thought, ‘Surely my family will know that I was in so much pain and I thought they would have wanted me to end that pain [through suicide],’ ” she reasoned.
Judd eventually began to emerge from the darkness, and penned her new memoir, River of Time: My Descent Into Depression and How I Emerged With Hope.
Though she’s in a much better place than she was over the last four years, she stated she’s not out of the woods yet.
“I’m still trying desperately trying to help myself,” she said.
“There’s never going to be a pill for it all.”
“Those thoughts of suicide don’t come anymore. But I’m vulnerable. I know I can backslide,” Judd admitted.
Naomi also claimed that the side effects of the many medications she has to ingest have taken their toll on her.
Judd said that she’s lost her hair, experiences tremors in her hands, and has a swollen face as a result of the meds’ side effects.
But she’s alive, and she’s trying — and that’s what really matters.
Memoirs apparently run in the family — daughter Ashley Judd, sexually abused as a child as well — wrote her own in 2011, and Naomi had some hurt feelings after the book was released.
About daughter Judd’s book, All That is Bitter and Sweet, Naomi said, “I will probably get around to reading it, because as a mom, I certainly want to honor her reality,”
“I was horrible,” Naomi said. “I didn’t know any better.”
What a mess, but it’s incredibly brave that Naomi has decided to come forward and address and attack these issues head-on.